Continuing the previous Post, people with severe blocks in male and female parental models are likely to develop contact impediments. In such cases, it is hard for them to interact, in general, or they have a permanent feeling of not fitting in life and/or not being able to engage in long lasting relationships. The latter, despite referring to less severe cases, may be also marked by loneliness and by a general “mismatch sensation” in their sexual lives. The feeling of not fitting either socially or regarding their gender, among other reasons, is sensitive and complex, and there are several genetic and socio-cultural issues related to them that are far beyond the limits of this essay. Our goal is to think about severe blocks such as the ones found in impediment contacts as a lack of intimacy with feminine and masculine in a broader sense, i.e, as not being able to be in tune with sexual desired partners because they haven’t completed their sexual identities. A completed S.I presupposes the interaction between 4 aspects: feminine and masculine drives merged with roles linked to feminine and masculine behavioral models. The harmony between these four elements defines specific feminine and masculine ways of being[1].If parental models are blocked, the whole process of identity transition is jeopardized, because it is constituted by three stages: idealization (new identity references), projection (in real friends) and fusion (with infantile models). If fusion doesn’t happen, the process can’t be completed. Parents’ identity models are not replaced. They are merged with new identity references. This process is the necessary condition for teenagers to develop genuine sexual identities, i.e, to develop their own concepts and ideas and, later, integrated life projects.
Blocks in infantile models may put at risk the development of eroticization, delay the start of their sexual lives, or bring difficulties in enjoying erotic desire. The consequence of fully or partially blocked sexual identities is the lack of models of how to feel and behave in highly desired and eroticized approaches/situations from puberty on. There are several levels of blockage, which are proportionate to the level of unconscious avoidance that can escalate from avoiding highly eroticized situations to avoiding erotic intimacy in relationships. As time goes by, memories linked to conflicting situations at the source of the block, in the past, are gradually “erased” from consciousness and turned into latent memories. Once these latent contents are mobilized and conflicts at their source are solved, models are unblocked, and sexual channel is available for a full sexual and erotic discharge, regardless their sexual preferences or orientation. We refer to such blocks, following Dias terminology, as structural blocks[2] because the original conflict at the source of the symptom is hidden and, therefore, people are not anxious about it. Since they are not feeling anxious and anguish is not recognizable to them, it doesn’t come up as material to be worked out in psychotherapy. These conflicts are commonly triggered by circumstantial situations.
To be continued in the next Post [1] For more details see Dias in Post 2- Feminine and Masculine drives in Intuition’s build- in Sexuality and Sexual Identity Essay, in: www.ceciliapsicologa.org [2] For more details see Dias in Post 2-Functional blocks versus structural blocks-, in Sexual Identity Blocks Essay, in: www.ceciliapsicologa.org
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