From a clinical point of view, structural changes in individuals today have to do with the fact that adolescents are less anguished, due the fact that they were brought up in a less repressed environment, and, at the same time, they are more anxious, due to of lack of contour. As a result, these adolescents seem to face more difficulties in finding a direction/purpose in life (existential anguishes). The psychological ground in adolescence is generally unstable, as it has always been. This is because, today adolescence is very much shaped by virtual relationships. This also results in a highly exposure to ambiguity since their childhood. These adolescents grew up in a world in which they had a multiplicity of references and a more flexible upbringing. Being a normal teenager is equal to being hesitant erotically and sexually; it is to become an expert in formulating theories and arguments that justify their need to experiment, and it is also taking risks. It is needing to belong and to assert oneself In the face of one’s peers. Intimacy and eroticism are new words and sensations in their lives. Adolescence can be summarized in one word: Idealization, which is an important stage for the awakening of sexuality and later erotic tuning[1]. Idealization runs through the whole development of one’s sexual Identity and is completed at the end of sexual/erotic experimentation with opposed/complementary bodies/energies. If anguishes related to each of these phases are not fully experienced, they are more likely to remain psychologically stuck in one or more of these phases. If that happens, it will result in difficulties to establish more mature relationships later. Today, virtual relationships are a considerable part of real life. They help inhibited people to feel more comfortable to expose themselves and search of affinities – an important ingredient of intimacy construal- without having to face physical contacts. In this scenario, for inhibited or phobic people, this is a a breeding ground for anxiety (anxious expectation), since physical contact is an important aspect of the development of eroticism, that is, the discovery of one’s own sexual pleasure and the pleasure of the other- the so called erotic tuning-, in order to reach spontaneity in sex. For people with difficulties in social contact- the anxious and inhibited ones-, the more the contact is avoided the more anxiety it can bring, whenever a sexual/loving encounter is about to happen. The escalation of anxiety can happen at the warming-up stage, flirting, till orgasm. For example, if someone is phobic or feels rejected (internalized atmosphere), fantasies inherent to the seduction game can reinforce the feeling of rejection. This is not intrinsic to web-relationships. Rather, it has to do with people’s insecurities (in the worst cases, their feelings of self-rejections). Idealization, in its turn, defines the psychological atmosphere of the adolescent, and it is a key ingredient of eroticism and passion, i.e it is essential for sexual desire as well as for the experience of falling in love. Relationships today are, to a great extent, virtual ones, and their new facets take place within this reality. The lack of physical contact can, in some cases, delay or make it more difficult for one to reach psychological maturity, both in terms of sexual spontaneity and also in terms of building intimacy, which are essential for successful shared life projects.
To be continued on the next Post
[1] For more details see: Essay 3- Sexual Identity development. See also Essay 4- Sexual Identity blocks and Essay 6- Anguishes in sexual life. In: www.ceciliapsicologa.org. See also Chapter VIII- Episode 3- Adolescence in digital era. Part 2, In: Talking about psychology with Cecilia Leite. In: YouTube
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